Friday, September 18, 2009

I am lucky to know kenny

=) Kenny )= Flawless Imperfections says (10:14 PM):
life still has to go on with or without

twistlickandunk says (10:14 PM):
yea

=) Kenny )= Flawless Imperfections says (10:14 PM):
haha you'll do fine
you know why??

twistlickandunk says (10:14 PM):
haha why?

=) Kenny )= Flawless Imperfections says (10:14 PM):
cos you're my sister tan
lmao

Yes thank you kenny~ You are my brother lek. I am a lucky girl to know Mr Lek, and it is your lost not knowing him. When I cried so hard and Bella didn't know what to do and I just didn't want to listen to her because I don't want to accept facts, I call Kenny. I cried and cried and cried.

Yeah you're right, I need to swallow those habits up and accept the fact.

But school doesn't teach you.

School doesn't teach you how to love. How to find the right person for yourself. How to be the perfect girlfriend/boyfriend your partner will want. How to move on from a break up. How to stand up and pull myself up again. How to stop thinking of someone who broke my heart. How to stop loving someone. So much more that school doesn't teach you.

Why?

Why do we still pay thousand and thousand of dollars to attend lessons that takes up 80% of our time when we don't learn the things that we need to know more than anything else.

Not taught how to stop being pathetic. I don't think anyone else in this world including my friends or whoever should reprimand me that I am not helping myself in any way to move on. Because I am not taught how to. I am doubly hurt more than anyone else, you know? I am not taught anything about moving on, so I really don't know how? It's not as simple as abc. There is no formula to solve it. There is no technique to score. I think I told Dexter something like that before. Told him that and not anyone else. Everyone didn't want me to be so... pathetic? Many friends keep telling me that what I am doing, doesn't help, doesn't do anything. Many friends keep telling me to move on, stop it, don't be like that. Many friends keep telling me that I have to move on I have to I have to. Yes I know I have to, but the fucking education system didn't taught me how to. I felt so fucking depressed so fucking pathetic so fucking ruining myself, my body. I didn't ate for like how many days? 4? 5? 7? I don't know. My body repelled the food I ate. I suspected that I was bulimic. But no, I'm not. I was just fucking depressed okay. I only drank like few sips of water a day. I cry on bus, I wear shades or bring shades everywhere I go because everytime I cry, I'll put it on and just cry so nobody knows.

Argh, I have to fake out smiles, and get heart aches every now and then when memories flashes back.

I cried so so much, my tears are dried. I don't have any tears to shed anymore. I can't afford to lose anything else. I can't afford to lose Dexter even as a friend. So seemingly, I am very fine, very very fine to everyone else in the world.

thank you very much i just want to type things out. Period is coming cause my mood swings swings like nobody's business.


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